Couples in distress usually have one nagging question that they can’t seem to figure out: “How did we get here? What happened to us? We started out deeply in love, starry eyed, confident and sure it would last forever. But look at us now. How did we fall out of love?”

Someone said that love is like a deck of cards. We start out with two hearts and a diamond; we end up looking for a club and a spade. Indeed, how does that happen? How do couples too often go from newlywed to nearly dead? No two couples are the same, but they often end up asking that same question. 

And the answers are many and varied. There is usually no shortage of blame to go around. Most troubled couples can list all their partner’s faults and failures. (I get to hear both sides when they come to me for therapy. Each is an expert on why their partner is the bad guy.
A couple hugs one another on the beach representing the improved connection that comes after a Couples Retreat in Orlando, FL. Couples Retreats are available to couples in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and beyond.

It’s More than a Lack of Love

As couples ask, “What is it? What happened to us?” I’ll tell you what it isn’t. It isn’t a lack of love. Most couples who fail love each other—very much. And it isn’t about money or sex or religion or in-laws or children or any of the countless other things couples fight about. 


It’s something deeper, more basic. This is one of the things we learn together in a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. Hold Me Tight®️ is based in attachment science. Years of research and results have taught us that all humans, from cradle to coffin, crave connection, a safe dependable bond with a partner who is there for us…who sees us, values us, responds to us, accepts and embraces us unconditionally. That connection is the essence of love. And it’s the loss of that connection that spells trouble for any intimate relationship.

It’s a Lack of Connection

So, it’s a loss of connection. That’s where relationships suffer and fail. All the well intended skills building and negotiating and problem solving in the world are useless without a safe, dependable bond. So, that’s where we start in a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. We help couples learn what’s really happening when we conflict, when we pull apart and put up our walls. We learn about how and why we end up distant and disconnected. Then, we set about changing the conversation.

A couple holds hands as the watch the waves roll in. Improve your communication and connection with a Retreat for Couples in Orlando, FL. Couples Retreats are available to couples in Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, and beyond.

The Conversation has to Change

Couples in distress are often stuck in debates, cycles of blame and defensiveness. They try to convince one another who is right and who is wrong. They litigate, try to make their case and, while both are talking, neither is listening, neither is connecting. Conversations become confrontations and those cycles go around and around. This is where couples begin to lose hope. When everything you try gets you to the same place—still disconnected, when nothing you try works, before long you being to believe that nothing you try will ever work. That’s when couples throw in the towel.

Hold Me Tight®️ Couples Retreats are About Going Deeper

In a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat, we change the conversation. We help couples understand better what they really need and how to share that. A Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is not just learning. It’s also doing. Couples get to have the conversations they never knew they needed to have, or how to have them. Couples venture into the waters of empathy and vulnerability. Mind you, we don’t twist arms. Couples go at their own pace. But they learn to have conversations, not confrontations. And they leave understanding better how to have and hold the connection that we all crave.

A happy couple splashes in the ocean. Gain happiness and connection with a Couples Retreat in Orlando, FL today. Retreats for Couples are available in Florida, South Carolina, Georgia, and beyond.

Ready to Improve Your Connection? Sign up for Our Upcoming Couples Retreat in Florida Today!

A Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat is about strengthening connection and deepening communication in the relationship that most matters to you. In just two days, you will discover a road map to finding and keeping a connection that lasts for the long run. Couples the world over have learned the lessons of love in Hold Me Tight®️. You and your partner can be one of them. 



An ocean sunset. Join a Couples Retreat in Orlando Florida and see how wonderful your relationship can be. Retreats for Couples are available in Florida and Beyond.

Have a Safety Plan

Safety First

By Mark Beck • April 1, 2025
A local factory required all of its employees to attend a safety class. One fellow didn’t really pay attention and when the final exam at the end of the class asked, “In case of a fire, what steps would you take?” the fellow answered, “Large ones!” “Safety First” is a wise strategy, everywhere from the workplace to the highway to healthcare to childcare. Injuries and accidents cost multiplied billions every year and it’s always better to prevent an accident than to treat one. Whatever the setting, people do better when they feel safe.

Curious or Critical

By Mark Beck • March 14, 2025
Somebody said, “Marriage is a never ending conversation.” I think that’s true. It certainly is a never ending education. That’s part of what makes it fun. Everyday I learn something about my wife, Debbie, about how she sees the world and sees me. And I’m often surprised at our different perspectives. We were on the verge of an argument the other day, simply because we both saw the situation very differently. Neither of us were wrong. But, once I realized how Debbie saw things, I understood her actions and reactions much better. And I realized again that a real key to connection lies in understanding, more than being understood. The late Sue Johnson used to say, “People calm down when they feel understood.” I’ve certainly found that to be true.

Love Is a Team Sport

By Mark Beck • January 29, 2025
If you’re a sports fan (specifically, football) this is your favorite time of year. The NFL playoffs showcase the best of the best and even for the non-fanatics out there, some important truths are evident. Football, like many other sports, is a team game. For sure, individual superstars shine, but only because those around them pull together for a common goal. The best teams operate as one. Eleven players, all on the same page: focused, supportive, picking each other up, pursuing the same goal. When they do, they become more than the sum of their parts…highly efficient. They minimize mistakes and overcome them when they happen. When adversity hits, lesser teams slip into fault finding, sniping and looking out for number one. In any sport, if teammates ever become opponents, they can’t win. It’s game over.

Relationship Rescue

By Mark Beck • January 24, 2025
You might remember the cruise ship Costa Concordia that foundered off the coast of Italy in 2012 after her captain carelessly steered her too close to shore. Rocks tore a 175 foot gash in her hull and the ship listed severely to her starboard side, taking on water and running aground. Ultimately, 32 people died and the recovery cost about $2 billion. Perhaps the greatest blunder though, was that the captain waited over an hour to give the order to abandon ship. For such negligence, he was ultimately convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to 15 years. Indeed, he left the ship with 300 passengers still on board! (He said he “fell” into a lifeboat as it was being lowered.)

Help Is Nearby

By Mark Beck • January 17, 2025
I had a close call today. I was almost duped by a very slick hacker. He posed as a security guy from PayPal and I nearly gave him remote access to my computer. (I know, that sounds pretty stupid on my part.) Fortunately for me, when things smelled fishy, I tapped out before any real damage was done. But, I didn’t know what to do from there. I unplugged my PC and called an expert. He knew just what to do and he got me up and running in no time. What a relief! It cost me a few bucks, but most likely saved me a lot more. Computers are a necessary evil in my life. I can’t even imagine managing my home or my business without one. But, they can sure be troublesome. And a cyber wizard, I am not. That’s my problem. I know just enough to be dangerous. It sure eases my mind that help is available when I need it. Because some things I can’t fix. That doesn’t make me stupid…it’s just not my expertise.

Comfort Isn't Always Comfortable

By Mark Beck • January 10, 2025
Intimate relationships are never easy and too many don’t survive. Courtrooms and counselors’ offices are full of couples who didn’t set out to destroy their love; it just looks as if they did. Maybe you’re one of those couples…trying to figure out how you went from newlywed to nearly dead...and you never saw it coming...or you did and you didn't know how to stop it.
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando is a great way to ring in the new year

Happy New Year

By Mark Beck • January 2, 2025
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando is a great new years resolution

When You Hit Turbulence

By Mark Beck • December 16, 2024
Now and then, I travel by air. I enjoy it, for the most part. But, on one trip, seemingly out of nowhere, the plane hit heavy turbulence. Suddenly, the cabin was shuttering and shaking. I looked outside; the wings were visibly bouncing up and down as the plane lurched and pitched. I tried to hide my fear, but (pardon the pun) it really shook me up. My stomach tightened; my breathing got shallow. I couldn’t think straight. Having such little experience with something like that, I feared we would crash. But, then, I noticed the flight attendants. They were cool as the backside of a pillow…no panic or alarm. I wondered how they could be so calm. Soon the pilot came over the intercom and in a steady, measured voice, explained that turbulence is normal, the plane was built for much, much worse and it would all subside in a few moments. The crew had been through this many times. They understood what was happening and what to do. I was so glad that somebody did! Their calm was contagious. Gradually, I was able to relax and realized that it wasn’t the crisis I had feared it was. That was a game changer. I got through it and now, turbulence isn’t the problem it used to be for me when I fly. It still happens, but I know what it’s about when it does and that gets me through. .

In Person Or Online?

By Mark Beck • December 2, 2024
Vicki and I will start something new in March of 2025. We have been leading in person Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreats at least four times a year for six years now. No two are the same; we always see amazing results and we get more than we give every time. And, in addition to our in person workshops, we’ll also begin offering online Hold Me Tight®️ workshops next year. In person and online workshops are definitely different. Each format has its own advantages. So, what’s different about the two and what is the same and which might be best for you? I’m glad you asked.

What About Love Languages?

By Mark Beck • November 19, 2024
Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular and prolific couples self-help books in history. Since its initial release in 1992, through several revisions, it has sold over 20 million copies. That’s one popular book! Perhaps you’ve read it. If not, it’s worth your time. Chapman basically contends that romantic love shows up in five ways. He calls them “languages.” In no particular order, they are: personal touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and giving gifts. The idea is that all of us have a top one or two love languages and that couples can and should know, not only their own love language, but more so, their partner’s. And the more you and your partner speak one another’s language, the more love you’ll both share.
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