Love Is a Team Sport

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Love Is a Team Sport

If you’re a sports fan (specifically, football) this is your favorite time of year. The NFL playoffs showcase the best of the best and even for the non-fanatics out there, some important truths are evident. Football, like many other sports, is a team game. For sure, individual superstars shine, but only because those around them pull together for a common goal. The best teams operate as one. Eleven players, all on the same page: focused, supportive, picking each other up, pursuing the same goal. When they do, they become more than the sum of their parts…highly efficient. They minimize mistakes and overcome them when they happen. When adversity hits, lesser teams slip into fault finding, sniping and looking out for number one. In any sport, if teammates ever become opponents, they can’t win. It’s game over.

Relationships Take Teamwork

That isn’t just true in sports. Marriage, committed relationships, may be the ultimate “team” sport. Few things in life demand more cooperation, coordination, mutual support, respect, faithfulness and working for a common goal. Partners in love have to team up, pull together, trust and encourage one another. When they do, when they are there for one another, great things happen. We know that a healthy, secure relationship makes us more creative, more capable, more resilient and more successful in just about every measure of success. In short, we become our best selves. We can weather any storm as long as we remain a team.

On the other hand, when a relationship is struggling—when we poke and provoke, when we shut down and pull away—when conflict becomes combat, things cannot go well for long. The team is no longer a team. Any relationship where the “opponents” are on the same side is doomed. Eventually, it’s game over.

Hold Me Tight Teaches Teamwork

All teams face this threat at some time or another. All couples have to learn to manage conflict. Knowing how to do it doesn’t just come naturally. If your team is stuck, coming apart, don’t panic. It doesn’t have to stay that way. Indeed, that’s what a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat can help fix.

A Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is a great way to become a team again…a great way to get on the same page, pulling FOR one another instead of AGAINST. Every sport has certain fundamentals. No team can win without them. The same is true in love. Hold Me Tight®️ will teach you the fundamentals. They are rooted in what we knew about attachment. All of us seek and need our partner to be there for us. When that doesn’t happen, we fall into patterns, ways of reacting that make opponents of us. The goal of the game then is to team up against those patterns, to reverse them. So, the opponent in this most important game is not our partner; it’s the pattern that we fall into. Once you change that negative pattern, you can truly win the prize!

The Best Coaching Out There

Hold Me Tight®️ is time tested and proven. Thousands of couples just like you have learned to team up and pull together, not apart. Even if you are or have been in therapy, Hold Me Tight®️ can be a different experience. You’re with other couples, just like you, learning and practicing new skills, new ways of teaming up. No pressure, no one put on the spot, you go at your own pace. And in just two days, you can find your focus again, learn how to be teammates again and know that you can win together. In the biggest game, the game of love, you can indeed win. Let Hold Me Tight®️ show you how.

Our next Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is NEXT WEEK near Orlando. Don’t miss it. All the details are on this website. Space is limited so sign up today! You’ll be glad you did.

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Have a Safety Plan

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By Mark Beck • March 14, 2025

Somebody said, “Marriage is a never ending conversation.” I think that’s true. It certainly is a never ending education. That’s part of what makes it fun. Everyday I learn something about my wife, Debbie, about how she sees the world and sees me. And I’m often surprised at our different perspectives. We were on the verge of an argument the other day, simply because we both saw the situation very differently. Neither of us were wrong. But, once I realized how Debbie saw things, I understood her actions and reactions much better. And I realized again that a real key to connection lies in understanding, more than being understood. The late Sue Johnson used to say, “People calm down when they feel understood.” I’ve certainly found that to be true.

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By Mark Beck • January 17, 2025

I had a close call today. I was almost duped by a very slick hacker. He posed as a security guy from PayPal and I nearly gave him remote access to my computer. (I know, that sounds pretty stupid on my part.) Fortunately for me, when things smelled fishy, I tapped out before any real damage was done. But, I didn’t know what to do from there. I unplugged my PC and called an expert. He knew just what to do and he got me up and running in no time. What a relief! It cost me a few bucks, but most likely saved me a lot more. Computers are a necessary evil in my life. I can’t even imagine managing my home or my business without one. But, they can sure be troublesome. And a cyber wizard, I am not. That’s my problem. I know just enough to be dangerous. It sure eases my mind that help is available when I need it. Because some things I can’t fix. That doesn’t make me stupid…it’s just not my expertise.

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By Mark Beck • January 10, 2025

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A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando is a great way to ring in the new year

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By Mark Beck • January 2, 2025

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When You Hit Turbulence

By Mark Beck • December 16, 2024

Now and then, I travel by air. I enjoy it, for the most part. But, on one trip, seemingly out of nowhere, the plane hit heavy turbulence. Suddenly, the cabin was shuttering and shaking. I looked outside; the wings were visibly bouncing up and down as the plane lurched and pitched. I tried to hide my fear, but (pardon the pun) it really shook me up. My stomach tightened; my breathing got shallow. I couldn’t think straight. Having such little experience with something like that, I feared we would crash. But, then, I noticed the flight attendants. They were cool as the backside of a pillow…no panic or alarm. I wondered how they could be so calm. Soon the pilot came over the intercom and in a steady, measured voice, explained that turbulence is normal, the plane was built for much, much worse and it would all subside in a few moments. The crew had been through this many times. They understood what was happening and what to do. I was so glad that somebody did! Their calm was contagious. Gradually, I was able to relax and realized that it wasn’t the crisis I had feared it was. That was a game changer. I got through it and now, turbulence isn’t the problem it used to be for me when I fly. It still happens, but I know what it’s about when it does and that gets me through. .

In Person Or Online?

By Mark Beck • December 2, 2024

Vicki and I will start something new in March of 2025. We have been leading in person Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreats at least four times a year for six years now. No two are the same; we always see amazing results and we get more than we give every time. And, in addition to our in person workshops, we’ll also begin offering online Hold Me Tight®️ workshops next year. In person and online workshops are definitely different. Each format has its own advantages. So, what’s different about the two and what is the same and which might be best for you? I’m glad you asked.

What About Love Languages?

By Mark Beck • November 19, 2024

Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular and prolific couples self-help books in history. Since its initial release in 1992, through several revisions, it has sold over 20 million copies. That’s one popular book! Perhaps you’ve read it. If not, it’s worth your time. Chapman basically contends that romantic love shows up in five ways. He calls them “languages.” In no particular order, they are: personal touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and giving gifts. The idea is that all of us have a top one or two love languages and that couples can and should know, not only their own love language, but more so, their partner’s. And the more you and your partner speak one another’s language, the more love you’ll both share.